dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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