I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize