ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
