So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
