I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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