is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
