i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
last night I used snow as a chaser
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