can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
