They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
