Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
As shirtless as possible
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Randomize
