he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
