On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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