i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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