the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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