Sponge bath it is.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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