I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize