32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
