Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
