he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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