so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
