He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
