I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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