respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
