He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
