Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
