He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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