so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
