Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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