my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize