i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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