HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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