she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
