did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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