Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
