I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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