This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
