I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize