if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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