Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
