She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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