The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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