Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
