I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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