I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
