Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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