Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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