just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
