Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
