i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
