there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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