You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
