You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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