Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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