Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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