She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
