i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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