As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize