never play flip cup with pint glasses
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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