I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
