she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I have already put on my inside pants.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
