I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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