Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
