Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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